Nashville Knights .....

From Portland to Nashville nothing like Chennai to Portland but tiring yes since it had some stop overs and waits and i reached pretty late in the evening.

I met Mr X there who was more than happy to have me there since he had arranged it all. A good meal of Rajma and rice and i was off too dreamland. The next day was my first day at work in Nashville. I always believed that nothing could be worse than having loads of work as till that day, i had been engrossed, surrounded and overloaded with work, but Nashville well in those initial days turned out to be completely opposite.

It was raining the next day, amidst the rain, a big cab with 3 people in it arrived to pick us up. Then we moved on to pick up the 6th and the then final member of the team. That was the first time i met "TD". There are certain moments in your life that you can never forget as it gets engraved in your mind and soul and will go to the grave with you, well for me this was one.

We moved onwards to office, it was bigger than the previous place and work was relatively less. In fact for the first two weeks i did not even have a system and would use my neighbour sly's system. He did not mind as it gave him respite from his old boss who would come and ask the status after every 20 mins.

Work went on, life went on. Things were moving very smoothly, everything being picture perfect, it was unbelievable. I in fact lost my instincts for struggle, but yeah i still continued to live on the edge, that being a habit and as my father used to say when i was a kid "Habit is hard to die, you take away the h, abit is left, you take away the a, bit is left, and if you also manage to take away the b, still it is left.". He was right my habits never left me some instincts did.

But if things go smooth for a long time, you should beware, as that is a sign of impending trouble. Even here, that's what happened, one day i was asked to go back to India for two months to setup a team there. I tried hard to stick around, but alas due to some unforeseen and unhandleable circumstances, i had to go back.

I remember the day i left clearly, a cup of well made tea by "TD" and a tearful farewell amidst a gloomy skyline. The same yellow cab that had brought me into the golden times took me away from it, and i sat in the cab and watched it all being washed away helplessly. They say life is a roller coaster, and you reach the nadir and then you come down, but sometimes you wish the roller coaster had a power failure right on top so you stay there forever. That was exactly what i felt like.

Back in Chennai it was the same rigorous schedule with long journeys to office, with all kinds of back problems and other things. Within all that hustle bustle, i just looked forward to three times of the entire day. One in the morning, once in the evening and once at night. Those were the times I got to speak with "TD". Everything else was just alien to me and a task or a duty that i needed to finish fast and head back to Nashville. I had left behind some treasures and needed to get back fast. My managers were not keen on getting me back after 2 months, but a lot of bickering and shouting finally did the breakthrough. I kept my promise, i went back in 2 months.


My second stint at Nashville began late in the night, and the first thing i did was go and meet "TD". Tired i was, mentally, physically, the India trip had taken a lot out of me, but that's no excuse, Darwin had proclaimed that only the fittest will survive and despite all the fatigue, i started work once more.

Unlike the previous stint at Nashville, this one was not picture perfect, in fact it was far from perfect. There were problems all around, and i had lost the spirit to struggle, i lay lame apart from the occasional outbursts which were directed more towards the people back in India. Sometimes I feel bad for what i did. I was getting frustrated with life, and was taking it out on those guys. If i ever get a chance maybe i need to go and apologize to the people out there for what i had done.

Any ways, life still moved on, I will not say that things got better, but it was more that i was getting used to that kind of a life, and then one day "TD" left for another place. Maybe the only person that i could talk to without any inhibitions and depend on had also been sent away. I never believed in god, but the day "TD" left i prayed, and that was and will be the last time, cause even god did not do anything to stop what was happening.

Once again life moved on far worse, the only distractions were work and music. I started playing the guitar more seriously, even went ahead and composed some songs, i just needed to keep busy. I used to wait for calls from "TD", and even that one small call would pour in some life into me.

Life moved on, society moved on, throngs of people marched ahead, but i remained there where i was. Slowly due to my bad habits of living on the edge and many more, my health keeps deteriorating, but it does not matter, i have finally left things to fate. I am still there in the same gilded city of Nashville where once the stars used to shine in the night and yes there was sunlight even during winter.


Dedicated to the Nashville Knights