There a few incidents in life that shake people, there are some that shatter people and there are some which can never be explained from an emotional point of view to anyone else including to your conscience.
I had met her in a fest while in school. Over a period of time through the end years of school we became good friends and enjoyed each others company. A day before i left for Delhi, we had a conversation which was the last conversation we had, where she wanted to be that special person in my life, and i was confused. I did not know about my future how could i take up someone else's and all i could say is that "We shall see, i am not sure about things."
I went to Delhi and was there for 2 months, and never heard from her, i used to mail/call her without any response. I thought either she had got busy or had got engrossed in her own life and was not in a position to reply and i left everything behind me and went on.
Soon i came back to Calcutta to study my engineering, and got busy with college and although she would linger behind my mind, i tried to engross myself in everything else. One day, i received mail from her saying that she wanted to meet me. The place was as odd as mad hatters whiskers, it was a particular ward number in a particular hospital.
For me it was more of delight since she had finally replied to my umpteenth mails. I went to the designated place to find her wrapped in a white sheet on those promiscuous beds which never like the same person lying on it for too many days.
She had been suffering from cancer which had been caught at the last moment and was living the final few days of her life. I did not know what to say. I still do not know. She just wanted to clasp my hand for the last time and feel secure that she would live.
She died four days later. Till date i have never been able to answer any of her questions and never will be able to.
Dedicated to a lost soul wich could never swim in the fish bowl
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